hueco + tissue tendons = cursed

19 03 2008

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since moving to the desert I have climbed alot of the rocks that are not made of plastic. being 5 hours from hueco, one would imagine i have been a climber alot there. i haven’t. it’s not because i suck or am afraid of rock climbing in places that are not garages, it’s because god hates me.

as many of you might recall, god is the white guy with the beard who made bouldering possible vis a vis making boulders. i know, i know, you ‘SCIENCE’ people are all like “nah man, chemical weathering and deposition made boulders”. if that’s true then how did this happen? if you think the name is an accident you are going to hell. to recap: god made up bouldering and he hates me.

why? i dunno. i wanna say its because of my devout atheism, but am starting to think he has bias against super-awesomeness. though i remain uncertain as to why, i am positive of HOW he hates me:

1) hueco in january: was going to go, but sublaxed my shoulder in Arkansas (where a weird temperature inversion left the entire boulderfield wet(tened) from the inside… further proof of god’s infinite disdain for tissue tendons). my shoulders are super-strong from climbing in the garages that are not hueco. it would clearly take an act of god to sublaxe them.

2) hueco in february: broke ass. not that i ‘broke my ass’, but that my ‘ass was broke’. i had no money. was supposed to goto the rock rodeo but almost died of the flu. really. almost died. god?

3) hueco in march: FUCKKK!!!!! (re)injured a pulley trying to get a tucson project of mine sent before driving to hueco.

here’s looking forward to april and thousands of things having something to with this.

do you find yourself cursed by god? have a great story about getting f*&ked by a deity?

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One response

13 04 2008
tissuetendons

seriously? i find it hard – given the vast readership of this blog – that nobody has a ‘deity rape’ story. c’mon.

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