climbing is overrated

31 03 2008

for my follow up and less verbose second post, i have to share a revelation with all of you. -you being the community of people i probably already know and most likely shared this experience with, seeing that as a guest poster, i’m privy to the number of hits this blog gets.

climbing is overrated.

i say this because i ventured outside of the garage and went “climbing” today, and by climbing i mean that i put on a rope twice and did one and a half pitches. this is worth mentioning in of itself seeing that i’ve only roped up once or twice in the past three years or so. but what is really interesting, is that if i had actually paid for most of my gear, each one of those days would have been valued at approximately $248.73, once you add up all the capital necessary to partake in such an endeavor like roped climbing.

now after all that, what was the most memorable experience? well apart from the usual grossly inappropriate, twisted and dark humor, and completely unprovoked aggressive comments usually directed towards any passing individual’s girlfriend, it involved the indomitable reverend of the bassett house discovering a bee crawling on the ground and preceding to shout at it, “HEY BEE. MAKE SOME HONEY!” in the same voice you would expect out of grover from sesame street if he couldn’t control the level of his voice and consequently was drunk from depression.

with these preceding tabulations and observations i came to the following revelations:

  1. if i could make ever sentence i uttered rhyme like mohammad ali, i totally would.
  2. for $248.73 i probably could have bought some damn good drugs for the reverend and expected even more bizarre exhortations, although the unexpectedness of the outburst was really what made the occasion.
  3. with the above mentioned amount i could have made made 79% of a round trip road trip to hueco (at the going gas rate) or 72% of a round trip road trip to salt lake city and the surrounding meccas of climbing, by myself, with no one to split gas with.
  4. one low-to-mid-priced clown or magician for about an hour.

really the choice is pretty clear to me if the decision is mine, and for $248.73 per hour, that magician better damn well show me a good time.

-the architect



2 responses

31 03 2008

shoulda watched this before you went out. sheesh. i mean where ARE you going to place your hands?

3 04 2008
the reverend

when the bassett house school descends upon a crag expect to experience some MENERGY!!
[hilarity also ensues]

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