a drink to your health

15 05 2008

as a climber, i feel i often take for granted certain qualities bestowed upon me by climbing, that would i otherwise have received,  been quite grateful.  health and fitness primarily.  this most recent revelation was made apparent to myself this past weekend, not by some extreme showmanship of said health and fitness, but rather by the abject performance i gave all night friday when i was made to understand that i had gotten food poisoning.  words cannot describe the agony of discharging your entire system, in multiple modes, until 6 a.m.  words can describe however the most bitch’in-est ab workout i have ever gotten, ever.

what the hell?

i mean i was sore.  really sore.  and all i could think about was, damn, if i was as fat and out of shape as the rest of the population, this would suck even worse.  in fact, i attribute my two day comeback entirely to my rigid regime of beer and climbing, that without, would have made for a week long waylay.  and on the plus side, with my added ab strength, i can now fully utilize those no hands knee-bars i’ve been trying in futility to use on those routes i’ve been climbing.

its strange though that it was in my weakest moment, cursing myself for having too much pride to go to the hospital, that i reflected upon how strong i had become.  for at that moment i felt like a piece of ragged man-flesh, too sorry to even stand, much less survive at anything.  contrast this to the feeling of invincibility and feeling of being able to take on a small mountain lion or a 20 footer and the discrepancy becomes more clear.  climbing has built me into an invincible, boulder conquering machine.

but it can all be taken away in an instant with nothing more than a tainted piece of food, innocently slipped onto a rivals plate at a posh dinner or cocktail party.  so raise your drinks all around and toast- toast to your good health and infallible rock conquering skills!  drink to your health and your nemesis’ ineptitude and may you crush for 100 years!

-the architect

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One response

15 05 2008
tissuetendons

who wants to live for 100 years? dude, don’t you remember the Queen ballad from Highlander: “Who wants to live forever?”

IT’S A FUCKING BALLAD MAN!!!!! A BALLAD! C’MON!!!!!!!

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