fan queries (or) email from the haters

17 06 2008

we here at ICFTG rarely receive mail from our readership. for awhile i assumed that many had not yet learned to write and were hard at work sorting out the oftentimes tricky relationship between nouns and verbs so they could shower us with much overdue praise.

i was wrong. nouns and verbs really aren’t that tricky. and the proof – as they say – is in the queries:

Q: “If this is a climbing blog…uh…. why isn’t there any pictures of climbing or any climbing” – Anonymous

A: dude. we don’t climb. we just TALK about climbing. this is the internet, not boulder. if you want photos and trip stories then hit up one of the colorado sites. they climb AND talk about it. plus, when you have more than two people at a session you get what i like to call: photos.

Q: “I have a great idea for a post: “It Came From the Garage: Cancelled” – Adam P.

A: huh. great plan. poor execution. i give it a c-. i woulda given an a+ for: — this blog sucks. it’s more like “It Came From the Garbage”– see what i did there?

i added a b.

Q: “Why don’t you clip bolts? Who boulders in Kentucky? Wanker. ” – Anonymous

A: this is a good one. during my most recent trip out west, i was often asked the very same question. desert people stuck with painful granite crimps seemed appalled that i eschewed kentucky’s amazing corbin sandstone cliffs for its often sandy rockfall boulders. a few years ago i would have offered them an elaborate explanation about the social connectivity of bouldering, the minutia involved in problem solving, and my ability to head out into the kentucky jungle in the solo. this year, however, i’m training power endurance so as to rid myself of ‘wankerdom’ once and for all.

by fall, i too plan to make fun of boulderers. silly pebble wrastlers the lot of them.

that’s it. if you have any (more) questions feel free to drop us a line.

-tissue

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3 responses

17 06 2008
thearchitecturality

Q: “Why do you sometimes post under the name Tissue Tendons and sometimes as The Architect? Are you bipolar?”

A: both.

18 06 2008
lordcaffeine

In the fall you can join us while we make fun of practice climbing while falling off routes at the lode. Keep up the good work.

5 06 2016
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