rockclimbin’ with dudes

31 07 2008

sorry for the gap in rockclimbing posts.  we’ve been sulking as of late because our (collective) finger is hurt, and rockclimbing posts just make the pain burn that much deeper.  that and we seem to have ‘finishing’ block.  it’s like writer’s block, but with finishing.  we….  oh nevermind.

despite the block, we have managed to eek out a post this morning.  this gem is in response to a sendaustin! post regarding an allclimbing guest post.  the string of posts in question are all centered around girl/girl climber stereotypes (and thus also centered around their necessary antipode: male stereotypes), and the age-old question of when tongue in cheek tap dances are funny and when they are straight up problematic/fascistic.

personally, we’ve found that our faux-masculinist rants are not taken well by our female buddies.  but we’ve always chalked that up to their feeble woman minds.  zing.

as a response we’ve stitched together a list of reasons to climb with dudes.  you should read it/them.

top five reasons to climb with dudes:

1) they have huge muscles they can use for the rockclimbing.  you’ve seen them.  they live in their t-shirts.  rawr.

2) they are naturally great at science and math, which guarantees you a win should someone propose an impromptu round of “fall factor trivia”.

3) they have the ability to become the pope; papal potential is a huge plus.  big hats AND an entire pope city.

4) they are great at saying “i’ll check it out” after someone has just said “what was that?”.  that is, someone has to come up with clever ways to kill the terrorists should their airplane accidentally crash in the nearby forest.

5) the penis/sperm combo ensures 1/2 of the needed elements to replenish the earth’s population should you find civilization has been wiped out while you were out climbing.

6) that’s what she said.

that’s it.  we’d come up with more but we can’t.

-tissue

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4 responses

31 07 2008
sendaustin

7. am i pretty?

5 08 2008
the bpc

cause you can call them fugly stupid bitches and it is funny to all involved.

because they don’t try to call an audible via cell phone to convince half the crew to go to a different, not at all cool, bouldering area when you woke your ass up before dawn to drive out to the best joint on the goddamn earth, OR, sometimes this audible is to GO TO THE GYM because it is less than 40 degrees, which you think is perfect, and sometimes it is to climb at an area that will be 80 degrees when where you are going is going to be 50 degrees because they don’t feel like hiking.

that’s why. RAGE! sour grapes? nope. just plain shameless truth.

all that aside, it does always seem to be a way better vibe when they actually show up on time, to the pre-determined place.

6 08 2008
thearchitecturality

agreed.

because i can either tackle them off the problem or pelt chalk balls at them, all the while heckling their pathetic existence, without it being labeled as domestic abuse.

26 03 2009
the one year anniversary post « It Came from the Garage

[…] climbin with dudes […]

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