why we’ve never done a 5k…

27 08 2008

…is so clear now.  because it is never a good idea to pay $20 to wake up at 6 am on a saturday AND drive thirty minutes so that we may be allowed to run (for 26.03 minutes).  but, as we all know, sometimes you find yourself in the middle of a terrible idea; running through it.

in the wild world of word association, the term ‘running’ has a axiomatic link to the term “quitting”.  this is because running is NEVER FUN. i hear the best you can hope for is the so-called “runners high”, which supposedly helps you cope with your throbbing ankles and lactic acid saturated ribcage.  i’ve ran for over 45 minutes and if misery is a ‘high’, then i was totally wasted.

anywho, i think i’ll stick to drugs.  that way i only have to run if the fuzz show up.

running the 5k was kinda game-like; a game of ever-diminishing goals.  we begin with dreams of victory.  sure, we haven’t trained, we smoke occasionally, and we had an array of adult beverages the night before, but we figure the rockclimbing has prepared us for the endurance slab climb that is ‘running’ so we take off into what seems like a victory romp.  we plan to pass X person, we try and pass X person, we fail to pass X person, and then we find another – less capable person – to pass.  failure mounts and by the end of the ‘race’ we’re pretty much through with generating false hopes, and have moved straight to half-assed consolation: “well, at least i didn’t throw up” or “i beat the old guy”.

running 5k’s.  meh.  

-tissue “omfg school has started again” tendons




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