“Hello God, it’s me….Tissue”

22 12 2008



first of all, i want to send a big ol’ cyber-hug to our rockclimbing brothers and sisters in wisconsin, michigan, illinois, kansas, etc..  for i know as bad as it might seem in the bluegrass state – our worst winter days are trivial in comparison to the frigid onslaught you people face year after year.  i’m so  %*%&#&  sorry.

here in kentucky, the last month has been a) really wet and cold or b) cold, cold, and cold.  aside from popping poorly insulated pipes, causing conflicted lovers to spoon, and forcing me into at least a dozen head-nodding weather conversations with the elderly, this terrible weather has forced me to…. wait for it:   train.

so, without further ado: tissue’s winter wonderland training regimen

  • day 1: climbing – this consists of pulling on plastic rockclimbing holds.  i pull on big ones for a few minutes and then move to small ones for three hours or until all my pulleys are sore – whichever comes first.
  • day 2: athletik specifik core and shoulder routines – i don’t know dave wahl, but if i did i’d give him a hug (man hug).  his articles on core work and shoulder work are not only fun (in that challenging sorta way) but lead to tangible results on the rock.
  • day 3: finger board and system crimps – i need a new campus board.  something thinner.  im currently rockin’ an old franklin board that features jugtastic slopers, ginormous crimps, and pockets that are way too deep to be comfortable.  despite my desire for a moon board(?) i still go through an entire 8 sec routine in each grip position save for the pinches which i am now unable to hold after 3 months of non-training rockclimbings.  after i’m done with the fingeryness i head over to my system crimp ladder and try to do ladders until i’m absolutely wrecked.
  • day 4: more athletik specifik core action
  • day 5: off

– tissue





4 responses

7 01 2009

Two very important questions:

1) Are the Athletik Speafeasitakiktik doable without the aid and succor of a commercial gym (i.e. Planet College Student Meatmarket Fitness)?

2) When small pellets of ice fall from the sky during the winter, do you think “snowing ice,” “raining ice,” or plain old “hailing” is the most appropriate term?

7 01 2009

1) yes. just need a few items.
2) freezing rain

7 01 2009

1) thanks
2) nah, it’s not rain that freezes when it hits, it’s already frozen. I like “snowing ice” the best.

8 01 2009

1) get a medicine ball, a yoga ball, and an ab wheel and you should be good to go. also check out the beastskills website for other ways to make yourself crazy strong. it’s almost as fun as climbing, but even easier to slack off on.

2) frozed rain?

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