this blog is now about breakdancing

29 05 2009

breakdance-handstandi have long abhorred scenes.  rave scene?  check.  skateboarding scene?  check.  mise-en-cine?  meta check.  and if we cared enough to investigate the ‘huhs?’ and ‘whys?’ of my distaste for human herds we would soon find the whole thing rests on a general dislike of people themselves.  and who can blame me?   if you’ll recall, humans are the entities responsible for slogan t-shirts, nuclear weapons, and line dancing.  yes, dear reader, i’m something of a misanthropologist. Read the rest of this entry »

‘so siked brah’: rokclimbings on mai mind

21 05 2009
Steroid Effects_04

testicular shrinkage impotence AND your tiny balls hang out of your shorts. ouch. the lesson here is clear: don't smoke steroid-filled syringes. srsly.

i’m seriously so juiced on sportclimbing at the moment that i can’t think straight.  i imagine this is how the vast majority of real rockclimbers (read ‘legitimate’) feel all the time.  like the ‘being john malkovich’ part of Being John Malkovich (1999), except with woody harrelson or matthew mcconaughey.  or like one of Jim Morrison’s poetry books being on a bookshelf with any other books which are NOT comprised of Jim Morrison poetry.  or like an episode of Family Guy with just fart jokes instead of all the ‘like’ jokes.

yeah.  just like that.

-tissue ‘still not a legitimate rockclimber’ tendons

champ pants: dreams can happen

16 05 2009

mammut champ pants: modern day nobility trousers?

omg.  finally.  this just goes to show that if you try hard enough, train long enough, and give it your all – you can get yourself some really amazing king-pants….. for right around $150.00.  i know, right?  B-A-R-G-A-I-N-!!!!!!!!

and i guess if was in the market for some pants that said “i win at pant wearing AND i’m running up a credit card in anticipation of a consumer debt bailout”  i’d have to wrangle me up some of these high brow thigh veneers.  anything less would be second place.  or worse: third.  *yack*  uhg.  sorry.  mediocrity makes me nauseous.  Read the rest of this entry »

enemy mine: spurt climbin’ ethic time

12 05 2009


sometimes i wake up and think to myself “where am i?”  and then i’m all like “AHA!!!”  that’s because i know where i am AND i like to let myself know with exclamatronics.  and, yes, i sometimes make up cool words to describe the banal.  ima banalinator.

whoops, i did it again. Read the rest of this entry »

silence of the blog

5 05 2009


um….  *chirp chirp*.  i’ve been busy writing and thinking about stuff.  none of it has anything to do with rockclimbing.  i know, right?


but i have been sportclimbing again.  it’s been amazing.  to summarize: climb – climb – clip – rest – climb – rest – clip – climb – clip. but with more climbing, resting, and clipping.  edit: it is actually amazing.  not only does it remind me how awful i am at climbing (and give me almost endless room for improvement), but it makes kentucky like 10000x more awesome.

i was looking for a red river gorgesque photo to steal for this post but all i found was this page:


awesome approach.  don’t call me, i’ll call you.

i’m not trying to crush out this little snippet of the american dream, but from where i’m standing it seems like 1) they want to steal my photos 2) they aren’t very convincing, and 3) based on the right sidebar… competition for being swindled is not all that fierce.  pretty much get a lens on anything other than a kiosk, a bridge, or a trash can and you’re in there.  and by in there i mean you get 1/2 a pizza at miguel’s.


wow.  almost worth buying that 1k dollar digital slr….

command+shift+4 in the house.