the only way i could manage to take a dump on my Lamborghini without a ladder
in case you haven’t been paying attention to the big silence that is It Came from the Garage, i took a rather long respite from the climbing blogosphere. a respite is – of course – a euphemism for playing video games, drinking beer, and watching sports used by the over-educated (HI I’VE READ ADORNO!) and unemployed to make being ordinary sound like an action montage cut from a pile of Spielberg movies. truth is, just like old people at stop lights, i got tired bored.
but that’s all fine and good. a 21st century dude sometimes needs a healthy does of social media distractions and drugs to settle himself in the often torrid seas of the present. i mean, the world is imploding on itself. wild inequity threatens the social “balance”, environmental degradation is spoiling the..um… spoils of the earth, and – according to this pamphlet i’m reading – a fallen angel named SATAN has deployed homosexuals to destroy the world.
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE FRODO!!!
shit is dire folks. giving up – while not something which shines on your resume – has never looked better.
but enough is enough. after some time being a ‘dick’ on climbing forums, i’ve decided to fire up ye olde blog again. we have some serious catchings up to do.
What’s New in the Rockclimbings?
the most important thing to know is i’m kinda great at it. and by kinda i mean totally. you know that feeling you get when everything clicks into place? like when Harry Potter finally figures out he’s a super magical badass/magical super badass and not just a mop-headed weirdo with a scar? yeah, well its kinda like that for me, but without all the goofy friends.
i don't need a spotter Weasley.
What’s the Same in Rockclimbings?
everything else. seriously. quibbling over grades. training articles. idiots ruining access. shit under every rock at the motherlode. adam ondra sending everything.
finally found a replacement for the Luke Perry poster in my workout room
It Came from the Garage 
Knew it was only a matter of time. Keep it up, old bean.
blog writing is high stress, but hopefully – with the right handful of emotion suppressing pharmaceuticals – I can keep this boat afloat.
good show, ol’ chap!