Facebook is 4 Noobs

22 09 2009


no this post isn’t about how we should pal up on ye old facebook.  i’ve got plenty of friends.  and by friends i mean people who are barely acquaintances; a group which dwindles with each and every status update/status flame I deliver.  i’m like the Santa Claus for people who thrive on well-written hostility.

no, dear reader.  this post isn’t about how bold i am on the interwebs.  how tough i am in cyberspace.  nope, it’s all about noobs.  i’ll explain.

see, i’ve been interwebbing for over a decade.  flames.  trolls.  WTF???!!!  telling people to go “f/k themselves with their stupid f/king mouse” since about 1999.  now it’s not like i’m the only one.  clearly there had to be – at the very least – one other person for me to vent on.  in fact, thanks to sci-fi novels and dungeons and dragons there were a TON of people to vent on.  point is, this whole mess has been going on for awhile.

fast forward to right now:

is it just me or do other long-time interwebbers get the feeling that Facebook people are f/king noobs at this whole virtual communications game?  can’t flame someone on FB without someone pulling the entire thread.  explain to someone why they’re wrong?  the snub you IRL (that’s ‘in real life’  noob).  ZOMG WTFLOLBBQ!!!!!  IT”S LIKE THEY JUST ARRIVED ON EARTH.  JUST NOW.

i dunno about you, but i liked the interwebbage better when it was just me and the other nerds who knew what an URL was.

yours in rockclimbing splendor,



champ pants: dreams can happen

16 05 2009

mammut champ pants: modern day nobility trousers?

omg.  finally.  this just goes to show that if you try hard enough, train long enough, and give it your all – you can get yourself some really amazing king-pants….. for right around $150.00.  i know, right?  B-A-R-G-A-I-N-!!!!!!!!

and i guess if was in the market for some pants that said “i win at pant wearing AND i’m running up a credit card in anticipation of a consumer debt bailout”  i’d have to wrangle me up some of these high brow thigh veneers.  anything less would be second place.  or worse: third.  *yack*  uhg.  sorry.  mediocrity makes me nauseous.  Read the rest of this entry »

enemy mine: spurt climbin’ ethic time

12 05 2009


sometimes i wake up and think to myself “where am i?”  and then i’m all like “AHA!!!”  that’s because i know where i am AND i like to let myself know with exclamatronics.  and, yes, i sometimes make up cool words to describe the banal.  ima banalinator.

whoops, i did it again. Read the rest of this entry »

the routes doth call

20 04 2009


you ever look at pictures of sport climbing and say to yourself “man, that looks badass!”?

yeah, me neither.  i mean, why would i want to do several boulder problems in a row when i’m already having so much fun doing them in the single?  plus. if you need more than two hands to count the number of moves in a problem, it’s no longer climbing.  it’s math.

Read the rest of this entry »

total win: sending in the non-satanic season

30 03 2009


patrick and i climb year round.  most of the weaksauce chumps we know are all like “it’s too hot” during the summer months, and all like “it’s too cold” in the winter.  but the people who know what’s what are willing to climb 340-some days a year in the ol’ bluegrass state.  we are those people. Read the rest of this entry »

the one year anniversary post

26 03 2009


just a little more than 12 months ago this little blog started with a single post.  like most blogs it used simple words to relay ideas to readers. but it also used super-secret mental brain waves to transmit advertisements into the drinking water of every climbing gym in the world.  the results?  74 posts, 247 comments, nearly 20,000 hits, and a forthcoming class action suit from the entire climbing community.

i would like to take this time to thank everyone for reading.  without you all i’d have is this totally useless advertisement-to-water mental telepathy power. Read the rest of this entry »

fa’s, projects, or circuits? oh my!

16 03 2009


you know life is good when you’re struggling to divy your free-time between putting up 7-10 new boulders in a day or going back to tick the harder ones you’ve passed up.  but with spring’s bag o’ t(r)icks (bugs, heat, poison ivy, etc..) on the way, the problem has become a bit more pointed.  how so?  well, if i go after fa’s then my projects might be unclimbable in a few weeks.  but if i go after projects then the fa’s might be unreachable/invisible before the end of the month.  this, my friends, is truly a question of more or ‘more’.  like choosing food at an Indian restaurant. Read the rest of this entry »