Land of the Free

28 09 2009

great weather this week.  a good friend returns to the fold.  and i’m feeling pretty strong.

just glad there isn’t an economic summit in Slade.

i expect worse over the next decade.


Musical Stuff (or) Why I Don’t Write Blog Stuffs Nomores

20 09 2009

hey folks.  i hate to use this blog to discuss anything other than 1) the #!*@*$ turd that is rockclimbings culture, 2) how skilled i am at analyzing turd residue, and 3) how i plan to win at rockclimbing, BUT i’m so syyyyykkkked on this batch of music (that I WROTE WITH MY MIND) i cannot help but spoil the sanctity of

may the climbing gods forgive us all.  yes, i’m talking about you Sherma.  forgiveness brah, forgiveness.

the style is sorta garage-glitchy dubstep.  so, yeah, it’s kinda not in a ‘style’ per se.  but you should check it out anyhow.



things i hate: bouldery routes

3 06 2009


i am not really a breakdancer.  i am a boulderer. *SURPRISE!*  white, american. hetero, male, boulderer.  i know because it says so on the ‘contact information’ card in my Trapper Keeper ©.  right under the part where my mom wrote: “believe in yourself pookie!”.

thanks mom.  pookie did.  until he started trying to climb ‘bouldery routes‘. Read the rest of this entry »

f%#k it: time off, injuries, and perfect weather

26 10 2008

as none of you know, i recently had to take some time off from climbing to fix some crazy tendonitis in my right arm.  it appears the right arm lock-off reach around move on the corner problem (7C) made my shoulder/elbow/bicep angry – angry enough to take a week off in the midst of epic climbing conditions here in the bluegrass state.  in fact, the micro-trauma was so bad i had decided to take another 5 days off…. until right now.

it’s 60, sunny, dry, and i have a huge bottle of ibuprofen.

here’s to obsession and compulsion.

buy bye,


the inescapable fury of the strong kids

2 07 2008

having recently made my departure from that home base that is lexington, ky to the dark-energied city of louisville, i find myself climbing at a gym that is not my own– in that i didn’t design it, sweat over it, fret over the facets and pour my soul into it.  and it kind of sucks.

never in my life have i thought i was so freakin weak.  in fact, i thought i was kind of strong.  i just dropped like 15 pounds since my tenure as a student and am back to the ideal weight i had trouble even maintaining in high school.  now granted, some of that is the stout climbing muscle that i use to burl my way over problems like a tank over a half dilapidated building, but still-  i should, theoretically, be climbing pretty damn strong.  so why is everyone at the gym stronger than me?  and not just stronger than me, obviously better than me; as in better form.  i have never met so many damn people who can hand-foot match up by their chest and somehow float from hold to hold like dave graham!  where are all my sharma-esque peeps popping and catching like real men?

i suppose i should be happy.  better climbers help motivate me, and in the southeast finding a large population in one place that can warm up on V7 can be difficult.  but i never thought i would climb with so many damn people who can do V8/9 moves so freakin easily.

and i can’t even use the ‘but i’m short’ excuse!  which is to say many, many of the problems have obviously been set by people with fairly substantial wingspans- considerably larger than mine.  but the one person who is quite a bit shorter than me also happens to crush said problems.  i digress. Read the rest of this entry »

what the south does when it gets warm: i’m building climbing walls again

4 06 2008

yup.  as tissue mentioned; it’s summer time.  and we all know what that means:  the architect is designing and building his third climbing wall. because it’s the summer, and that’s what i do.  for those unfamiliar, allow me to present some of my previous work:

the bassett prow

this was the “prow” at the famed Bassett house before it met it’s untimely demise earlier this month.  i have to say, pretty mediocre at best.  but fear not.  the new Cooper climbing wall will blow your mind.

i have long wisted for the chance to design and build a climbing wall from scratch.  in fact, if you actually follow this blog, and i wouldn’t advise that, you might recall this post i wrote earlier in the year touting my skills to recognize and advise on those most crucial aspects of a good climbing gym.  how apropos that i collect my thoughts on such a matter just months before i go about realizing my dream, eh?  most pertinent to the Cooper wall is the elimination of dead wall space most usually created from poorly designed corners.  now gaze upon these corners in awe:

Cooper corner

dr. jeremy approves.

Cooper corner

wow, insulation too?

Cooper corners

my wall has more facets than your bling.  in fact, this wall is more iced out than your…  well, your mom.

god i wish i could go to RMNP.  i hate you colorado.

-the architect


hating colorado is not cool

28 05 2008

we here at ICFTG rarely print retractions. this is largily because our editorial staff is flawles; we call it ‘fleditorialismlessness’.

but, on occasion, even the most fleditorialismless of editors finds themselves being – what’s the word? – incorrect.

in the previous post it seems i put forth some hatred towards colorado. this was not cool.

hating colorado is not cool.