guest hueco installment and the inaccuracy of grading

15 03 2009
Schwerer Gustof

kyle shows that his guns are bigger than those of 'schwerer gustov.'

it’s been a while since i’ve guest-written anything for this blog.  tommy has amassed quite a readership on his own, laying down his philosophical musings and keeping us all up to date and well informed on the goings on in the climbing blogosphere.  but i just got back from hueco, bringing with me pictures and further ambiguity to the great debate that is climbing grades, and i might, for once, have some meaningful input.  Read the rest of this entry »

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we found a camera!: sockhands tribute post

18 11 2008

the weather in the bluegrass state is horrible.  cold and wet.  the following are from the last day out in morehead -a day in which a posse of rockclimbers raced for an impressive first ascent.  sadly, only the stand start went.  the sit should go before the end of the week.  the race is afoot!  yip yip hyeauiyeah!

the reverend works The Reign is Over (v9/10)

the reverend works Evangelist (v9)

tissue works it shirtless.

tissue works it shirtless.

patrick doing the first move on the stand (the fourth on the sit)

patrick doing the first move on the stand (the fourth on the sit)

note to self: always take camera to woods (or) make friends with someone who yearns to be semi-pro photographer.  photos shown courtesy of the rev.

-tissue





notes from the south

6 11 2008

mpw-15155a few days of climbing in the ‘deep’ south makes for a good list o’ observations:

  • there are a lot of large crosses (you know the roman torture device/religious symbol) along i-75.  are there cross contractors out there vying for work or are these things built by parishioners?  i’m just curious.  plus, ‘cross construction’ seems like a viable way to make up for my decided lack of piety.
  • there are 13 pawn shops on a 12 mile stretch of i-27 linking chattanooga and lafayette.  so, if smoking crack has got you down and you feel like you’re running out of choices…
  • rocktown is the perfect place to make all the hacker/slasher flicks you watched over halloween into seriously palpable paranoia.
  • rocktown is not a good place for the weakly ego’d.  if you plan to hit the road and send big numbers – DO NOT GOTO ROCKTOWN.  if – on the other hand – you plan to climb sick problems in one of the coolest sandstone boulderfields in the world – rocktown is the spot.
  • always take two pads: the walk back is too far and you’ll definitely need/want the extra protection.

-tissue ‘still gots tendonitis in my shoulder’ tendons





for your consideration

30 10 2008

i’ve decided.  i like simply being in the world rather than becoming something particular in the world.  being over becoming.  let me explain.  

being is like a dot with potential lines of action emerging from its center.  becoming is like two dots with a line connecting them; a single line of action.  the former assumes a non-linear flow of circumstance and combination and allows for allowance itself, while the latter circumscribes action under the assumption that action leads to a particular, knowable somewhere.  but it strikes me the only thing we can be certain of is the present – now, no now, no now – as the past is an ever-receding(and constantly (re)remembered) fiction and the future is yet to pass.  now is all we know.  it is the extent of our certainty.  

what does this have to do with the rockclimbings?  everything i suppose.  see, i had planned on doing my dissertation on pain, memory, and trauma.  a cool triad of concepts (applause), this body of work would have looked at the language destroying capacity of physical pain, the subject forming capacity of mental anguish, and how we organize both into a discourse on/of trauma.  fun fun fun.  sarcasm aside, it did offer some interesting problems and certainly offered more in the way of ‘jobliness’ than the new dissertation:

rockclimbings.

Read the rest of this entry »





love song for an area: the cove

22 10 2008

as most of my friends well know – i have a ‘thing’ for bouldering in kentucky.  some might suggest that i don’t have a good aesthetic barometer (i.e. i like “choss”), but the truth is i am just easily stoked on climbing boulders.  i’m a rock ‘whore’ of sorts.  and by that i mean i am hard-pressed to dismiss a rock climb.  the way i see it, if i can’t do it then it needs doing; the forest is full of johns.

while i have long extolled the limited virtues of morehead climbing (a smattering of semi-chossy sandstone pebbles about an hour east of lexington and 30 minutes north of the red river gorge), i have pretty much steered clear of what little bouldering we have in the red river gorge.  it has always seemed a bit ridiculous to head to the red without a rope; millions of redriverclimbing.com posts kindly suggest the same.  and by kindly i mean somewhere between a good flaming and a mob-carry to the scaffold.

but this season i decided to give the red another go with the pad.  not only would this protect me from abject failure on routes (knowing i’m gonna fail before i fail is disheartening), but would give me some much needed power time on the rock before the temps get good down south.

so i took a gander at my trusty red river bouldering guide.  where had i not been?  what had i not found disgustingly awful?  and most importantly, where are the big numbers?  all answers pointed to one locale… Read the rest of this entry »





ICFTG greatest hits

23 06 2008

a lot of people think a band should wait until after their fifth album to do a greatest hits album.  

personally, i think they should release one as soon as possible; a lot of bands just don’t make it to a fifth release and/or release at least one album full of duds somewhere after their “brilliant sophomore effort”.  

and we all know you want the greatest hits album before the 13 track craptastrophe.     

it is with this (our) imminent failure in mind that I have compiled this post: i want our inspired garbage to be highlighted before we start writing uninspired garbage…..

climbing is overrated

i am cursed

lying is rad

soul versus numbers

problem name-o-rama

garage problems
  

-tissue





fan queries (or) email from the haters

17 06 2008

we here at ICFTG rarely receive mail from our readership. for awhile i assumed that many had not yet learned to write and were hard at work sorting out the oftentimes tricky relationship between nouns and verbs so they could shower us with much overdue praise.

i was wrong. nouns and verbs really aren’t that tricky. and the proof – as they say – is in the queries:

Q: “If this is a climbing blog…uh…. why isn’t there any pictures of climbing or any climbing” – Anonymous

A: dude. we don’t climb. we just TALK about climbing. this is the internet, not boulder. if you want photos and trip stories then hit up one of the colorado sites. they climb AND talk about it. plus, when you have more than two people at a session you get what i like to call: photos.

Q: “I have a great idea for a post: “It Came From the Garage: Cancelled” – Adam P.

A: huh. great plan. poor execution. i give it a c-. i woulda given an a+ for: — this blog sucks. it’s more like “It Came From the Garbage”– see what i did there?

i added a b.

Q: “Why don’t you clip bolts? Who boulders in Kentucky? Wanker. ” – Anonymous

A: this is a good one. during my most recent trip out west, i was often asked the very same question. desert people stuck with painful granite crimps seemed appalled that i eschewed kentucky’s amazing corbin sandstone cliffs for its often sandy rockfall boulders. a few years ago i would have offered them an elaborate explanation about the social connectivity of bouldering, the minutia involved in problem solving, and my ability to head out into the kentucky jungle in the solo. this year, however, i’m training power endurance so as to rid myself of ‘wankerdom’ once and for all.

by fall, i too plan to make fun of boulderers. silly pebble wrastlers the lot of them.

that’s it. if you have any (more) questions feel free to drop us a line.

-tissue