over the next couple of weeks I want to talk to you fine folks about warming up, maximum effort, gymnastics progressions, and how to fail at flashing boulder problems. i know, i know. it’s going to be amazing. but before I jump into some serious blah blah blah about climbing training, let us take just moment to situate my climbings know-how; or at least start to decipher precisely how I came to know so little. in list form. because i’m that bad at stringing together thoughts into paragraphs.
- i’m 34 which feels pretty old considering i was 20 like yesterday. they say time flies when you’re having fun. in my experience, it just flies. fun. no fun. whatever. poof. the lesson here? you had better get after it while the getting is good. seriously. that collagen isn’t going to last forever.
- i’m a white heterosexual American dude. yes, i am the Other’s ultimate other. i can also put on more muscle mass than (most) girls and maintain lower levels of body fat. i don’t have to give birth and according to enlightenment thought i am emotionally distant enough to be rational. i would like to say it feels good to be a transcendent signifier, but it just feels normal so…
- i’m married and have a baby boy (my primary occupational agenda at the moment) which basically means i get less sleep than you and have almost no free time during my non-sleep hours.
- i have an MA in geography from the University of Kentucky. my reading focus was mostly on political theory (sovereignty via foucault, deleuze, and agamben if you’re into this sort of thing) with a wavering interest in violence, pain, and mortality. i list this mostly to highlight skills in general skepticism and research, but i also wear glasses so you should probably assume i know exactly what i’m talking about.
- on fridays and saturdays i climb boulders and/or bolted routes in Kentucky. i’ve done a few boulders in the 7C+/8A range and routes around 8a/8a+. i use the Font grading scale because i hate freedom.
- i started climbing in southern California in 2000. my haunts included Stoney Point, Lizards Mouth, and a boulder off the 1 near Point Mugu. i climbed 5 days a week for the first year and looked so solid on the warmup circuit that you would assume i climbed much harder. i didn’t. i also thought the raging tendonitis in my elbows was muscle growth. it wasn’t.
- i’ve done well over 100 boulder FA’s 6A and harder including a handful over 7C. one day this might be notable, but for the moment I’m apparently “wasting my time” by not building a solid route pyramid in the Red. /sigh. /lol.
- i’m 6′ tall and weigh somewhere between 155-162 depending on ice cream, HIITs, and sleep. i use a modified version of Carb Back Loading to fuel exercise and help maintain body composition.
- i have a climbing ‘facility’ in my garage comprised of a 60 degree wall, a small campus board, rings, and a variety of finger training devices. we’re adding a 20 degree wall soon. huzzah!
next week? some novel thoughts on warming up from a guy who can’t get warmed up. (hint: it’s ME!)